Frequently Asked Questions
Got questions? We have answers!
- I signed up but my confirmation email didn't arrive, what do I do now?
- I forgot my password, what do I do?
- I was using the site when I got an error, what do I do?
- Can you really have a system for romance?
- Isn't a schedule for romantic reminders cheating?
- Does AutomaticRomantic tell me what to say / do?
- Do scheduled reminders really work?
- Can AutomaticRomantic improve my relationship?
- Can AutomaticRomantic really make me happier?
- Isn't using AutomaticRomantic cheating?
- Will I recieve ads in reminder emails?
About the Reminder Service
- Can I schedule yearly anniversaries?
- Does AutomaticRomantic charge for Text messages to my cell phone?
- How do I register my phone so I can receive text message reminders?
- I have an Apple Mac, how do I see my AutomaticRomantic calendar in iCal?
About the Romantic Ideas
- How do I submit my ideas?
- When I submit an idea, why doesn't it appear in the listings immediately?
- How do I vote on a Romantic Idea?
- Can I change my mind once I've voted?
- I added a comment to an idea and it was held for moderation. What does that mean?
I signed up but my confirmation email didn't arrive, what do I do now?
We can't guarantee that an email we send out will reach you though we do our best. If you haven't received your confirmation email check any SPAM or Bulk Mail folder you might have (it could have triggered your SPAM filtering software). Not there? Wait a few minutes - it might be held up by a SPAM checker or a busy email server. If it still doesn't arrive visit the password reminder page and have a password reminder sent to you.
I forgot my password, what do I do?
Visit the password reminder page, enter your email address and have a password reminder sent to you.
I was using the site when I got an error, what do I do?
This should never happen but *gasp* we're not perfect, so if it happens to you please, Please, Please Tell us about it and if that fails email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll fix it pronto!
Can you really have a system for romance?
Romance requires imagination and a knowledge of the person you're involved with. No service can provide you with that which is why "romance tips" and the wording of valentines cards often seem so corny. Instead AutomaticRomantic provides you with simple prompts to express appreciation of your partner in your own voice and in your own way. You already know what your partner would like, you don't need us to tell you. AutomaticRomantic is a system only in that it automates reminders to do what you know you should be doing.
Does AutomaticRomantic tell me what to say / do?
We can help but you probably already have something nice to say about your partner, so use that. Real romance comes from the heart, your heart.
Do scheduled reminders really work?
Yes. But not if you set them to be the same time every week or month. Let's say your wife loves flowers. You decide to please her and so buy her flowers every 2 weeks - like clockwork, every second Friday. It'll be romantic the first couple of times but soon it will become routine and lose it's impact. Humans are wired to notice patterns and to become used to them - like the ticking clock in the living room that you no longer hear. AutomaticRomantic randomizes your reminders. On the AutomaticRomantic schedule you still might buy flowers on average every 2 weeks but sometimes it might be one week between bouquets and another time 3 weeks.
Isn't a schedule for romantic reminders cheating?
Great communicators are made, not born. You have to work on your communication skills and that means taking the time to do it. In our busy lives it's easy to let this slip and discover one day that you have nothing in common with your partner. So what do you do if you're just not good at this stuff? You get a coach, someone who will remind you to work on those flabby romance and communication muscles. AutomaticRomantic can be that coach, it simply helps you maintain at least a minimal level of romantic fitness.
Can AutomaticRomantic improve my relationship?
We can certainly help but if you want a stronger relationship with your partner and all the benefits that provides for your health and happiness then there is no substitute for investing in the relationship. Like a savings account, a relationship grows best when you commit to making regular investments. AuotmaticRomantic can remind you to make those investments until it becomes a habit and you learn to do it on your own.
Can AutomaticRomantic really make me happier?
We think so. The equation is pretty simple. Your partners happiness reflects back on you. You make them happy, they start to do things that make you happy (or at least cut you some slack, which should make you happy!). It's a virtuous circle, a feedback-loop.
Isn't using AutomaticRomantic cheating?
What is Valentines Day? A yearly reminder to lavish some attention on our loved-ones. It's not cheating to set yourself a reminder. Still not sure? Ask your partner. Say : "Hey, I joined a service that's going to remind me to appreciate you more. You know, like love-notes and flowers and stuff.." See if you get any complaints...
Will I recieve ads in the reminder emails?
No. We don't do that. We won't SPAM you with offers from 3rd parties in your emails.
About the Reminder Service
Can I schedule yearly anniversaries?
Sure. AutomaticRomantic allows you to schedule two types of reminder : Anniversary and Random. Anniversary reminders are what you would expect - use them to schedule birthdays and other important days. Random reminders are fuzzily-scheduled reminders for the small acts of romance that strengthen your relationship. Schedule a Random reminder to occur monthly and it might remind you anywhere between 3 and 5 weeks later.
Does AutomaticRomantic charge for Text messages to my cell phone?
No. We don't charge to send you a text message reminder to your cell phone. However, you're service provider may charge you to recieve them so choose carefully whether you want AutomaticRomantic to send you Text reminders.
How do I register my phone so I can receive text message reminders?
To register your phone for text message reminders you have to enter the email address of your phone on the preferences page. You will need to check with your cell service provider what the email address of your phone is. Once you have registered the number we will send you a short code to enter in the "confirm" section of the preferences page. Once you have confirmed your number by entering the code you can start to recieve text message reminders.
I have an Apple Mac, how do I see my AutomaticRomantic calendar in iCal?
On the Remidners page you will see a couple of links with a Calendar icon next to them. Click on the one marked "WebCal/iCal" to subscribe using Apple iCal. This method will also work for you on windows if you have installed an iCalendar-capable application and it has been registered in your browser. If it hasn't been registered with your browser then you will see a message like "Protocol WebCal:// is not registered", don't despair you can still download your calendar using the "Download iCalendar" link and load it into your iCalendar-enabled application manually.
About the Romantic Ideas
How do I submit my ideas?
When you Sign up you can add your own Romantic tips and ideas.
When I submit an idea, why doesn't it appear in the listings immediately?
Unfortunately the internet is home to a very unromantic breed known as spammers. They'd like to submit un-romantic adverts for pharmaceutical products of dubious quality and efficacy. So to keep that stuff out we screen all ideas. Unfortunately a human has to do it so it can take a few hours to be approved. The good news is that once you have a few ideas approved you'll become a trusted member and we'll let you post your ideas immediately.
How do I vote on a Romantic Idea?
You have to be a member and you have to be logged in. If you're logged in then you can cast your vote for any Romantic Idea. We'd like to allow anyone to vote but if we do that then the competitive members among us will submit a lot of votes for their own ideas just to see themselves at the top of the Most Romantic Members chart. By requiring that only members can vote we can keep the system fair (and eject any bad apples from the community).
Can I change my mind once I've voted?
Yes, you can change your mind at any time and re-cast your vote. Only your latest vote counts.
I added a comment to an idea and it was held for moderation. What does that mean?
We allow anyone to comment on ideas and on articles. Sometimes people abuse that to post SPAM messages. When you post a new message it's content is checked. If it looks like it might be SPAM we hold it for moderation. This shouldn't take more than a few hours. If it turns out not to be SPAM it will appear in the comments.